The Woes of Christie

This dog...this headless dog is about to drive me out of my mind! I don't know how to put it exactly except that I'm going to hurt her. I am, I am going to punch her in the face! Well ok really I would never hurt a dog or an animal no matter how much they annoyed me. But really in my core I want to make her stop, stop it all. She's annoying! That cone, it has to go. It has to be burned. I know I know I should stop feeling sorry for myself and feel sorry for Sophie, she's the one that has to wear it 24 hours a day for 10 days and I bet that she's just fed up with it herself...and I bet that she's just decided that she's no longer going to have very good hearing or peripheral vision. I bet she doesn't realize that this is a temporary circumstance! She is a beast she is a HUGE being. Lets figure this out here, she's 50+ pounds okay? She's probably 30 inches tall and with the cone extending her head up she is easily 35 inches tall. Now with my calculations she has to be at least 19 feet wide. And while I know I often have a tendency to exaggerate I know that my measurement of 19ft wide is accurate. I find that the fact she cannot CANNOT go down the hall next to you without cutting your legs off and scraping the wall to all hell is a good enough reason to assume that she is 19ft wide...okay just for the sake of argument lets make it 20 ft. wide. I am over the fact that in transit, to ANYWHERE, she takes anything and everything in her path along with her. I'm over the fact that she seems to have MORE energy than ever and is taking it out on my house and my family. MY family not hers. I don't think that she realizes that she is SO annoying when she goes tromping through the house. NO GALLOPING through the house. She is what I like to refer to as a horse. As the horse that is living in my house, sleeping on my bed, and taking my wall with her everywhere she goes. This is of course not to mention the fact that I haven't SEEN my other dogs at all since uhm...the day Sophie was born. They are in hiding. (Their crate that is now in the walk in closet in our room...their only refuge) Ok yes, yes I did say "The horse that is sleeping in my bed" let me explain...Sophie+Cone+Crate=Christie goes Psycho (yes more psycho than I am already going)Lay mans terms? Okay here we go Sophie=20ft wide right? Crate=3ft wide right? The noise that damn cone makes when it scrapes against the side of the crate =ANNNNNOYING! So in the process of saving my marriage and my sleep, we decided that Sophie should just sleep on the bed instead of us hearing her wake up all night and making that awful noise we would just feel all 900 pounds of her laying on top of us in the night and that 20 foot cone crashing against our peacefully resting heads. Forget a pillow how about a football helmet to protect me in the night.
What's worse? Well I don't know exactly, I think sleeping in a football helmet would be pretty uncomfortable and I think that being whacked in the face all night is a pain in my ass, but I definitely think Sophie sleeping in her crate with that dang cone on her head is a nightmare...so I think the answer is they are ALL WORSE. Now this problem presents with another problem. I've been watching Supernanny. And the people who let their children sleep in their bed until they are practically married, I think they are absolutely insane. Now A) I have never had children so how can I relate I know I know... and B) how is that different from having a 9,000 pound dog sleep in my bed with me? Well it's not. OK but it is...let me defend myself and my bad decisions by saying that it's a dog and I feel bad putting her in that crate and making her suffer all night cause she can't turn around without getting her poor little (and by little I mean HUGE) puppy head turned around. This however does bring up the issue of how the first night without the cone is going to go. She's going to get her cone off on May 8th when she gets her stitches out. Okay that's in a week. So not only do I have a week of this hell to live through but in a week when she gets all of her issues solved we are going to have to re-train her that sleeping in her crate at night is the way it is going to be! She is no longer going to be the princess and she no longer has the right to demand football helmets before bedtime! Seriously this is just a big huge snowball of Christie Hell! I'm telling you I'm never going to have kids. (Unless you can put them in a crate too) Come on...this is just a ridiculous blog, because this is a ridiculous situation that has no positive outcome...other than A)Giving the Sophie up for adoption or B) well insert your positive out come here ________. (I have mine but it's a secret and yes it does involved a paint gun)

Well Nanna and Pop Prentice are probably sad because they realize the severity of "The Mona" and her poor hibernation issue. They love "The Mona" and feel sorry for her more than me and that's fine! Because when it comes down to it I feel sorry for The Mona more than I feel sorry for me as well. Speaking of The Mona I don't really remember what she looks like...or Mia for that matter so lets reminisce shall we?



<---THE MONA!




<--MIA!






They are shut-ins! Sad...
ok the lines are now open for advice! Let me know
Christie